KICK ROCKS! I QUIT!

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... Listen...Iโll be honest, I came to a place where I just did not like people anymore! There, I said it! Yep, I was tired of folks, their shenanigans, and all that came with dealing/working with people! But, before you โstone me,โ let me give some history.
For starters, my childhood was roughโlike really rough!
This is How it Started
Raised by a Single Mother
Grew up surrounded by drug and alcohol abuse
ACE Score (Adverse Childhood Experiences) of 8+
Teen Mom (TWICE)
High School Dropout
Extreme Anxiety as a child (meaning very EXTREME)
Anger Issues
Identity Issues
...and my list of woes goes on.
By the age of 18 yrs. old, I felt like I had lived 40 years of life. Whewwwโฆya girl was tiredโand I hadnโt even turned 21 yrs. old yet. But thanks be to God, he snatched me out, and saved me at the tender age of 18โฆand thatโs when life took a turn for me. I can clearly remember being so overwhelmed as I always knew there was a God, but I never knew that he was so personable. Meaning, my mom was a โreligiousโ woman, but you know, I just thought he gave out โto-doโ and โdonโt doโ lists, so experiencing him on a personal level was something new to me.
In short, I served on various church committees, auxiliaries, and more for the first 4 years, was married by the age of 22, and was handed the โtitleโ of Womenโs Assistant Chair, then โWomenโs Chairโโand I served for years, organizing large community events, preaching, running a marriage and family ministry, serving, hosting large conferences and more! I served in multiple capacities for about 15 yearsโฆthen a major shift happenedโand I could not explain it, but I felt this deep calling that there was more. Granted, I appreciated all that I had been blessed with, experienced, and was doing in โthe church,โ as I was very involved, well connected within my church, and very involved in the organization that the church was under/affiliated with.
Moreover, I could not shake the โpullโ! Meaning, the church that I thought I would one day retire from serving when I reached my โold ageโ would eventually become part of my history, as God was redirecting my family into what he had for us next. It was hard! It took us 3 years to finally have the โhard conversationโ with our then leader. We went through pure chaos, as the folks we once served, labored with, hosted in our home, and so forth, suddenly became โstrangers.โ We were ostracized by many (not all)โand it hurt like crazy to see almost 20 years of my life become a fading memory.
All of that to say, I was livid and done with people. I felt like my gift was what people wanted (both in and out of the church as over the years, I also had some very unpleasant experiences in the community I was raised in/was serving as well). You know, it just felt like they couldnโt care less about the well-being of my family, only what we were able to produce/do for them.
I gave my life, time, resources, finances, gifts, talents and so much more. I asked God WHY? What was the point? What was the purpose? I questioned so many thingsโand I just did not understand how this made senseโand how people could be so cruel, opportunistic, and self-centered. Meaning, we simply wanted to serve, grow, and put our best foot forward in all that we were doing. We knew and believed that the world was big, and we had a dual, multifaceted calling on our lives/we could not just settle for mediocracy (And letโs be clear, this isnโt โshadeโ to my hometown or the church, itโs the mere truth, itโs my narrative, and itโs what many have experienced).
Nonetheless, we survived, and we moved on and did even MORE amazing things in the community for several years. We healed and we began to dig deeper. My husband began to advance in his career as an Educator and School Administratorโand I too began to experience God in my career and was blessed with some life-changing speaking opportunities and more! God was moving, and we were growing in other areas of life that also mattered to God.
Hence, I turned that hurt into purposeโand my โhungerโ for God and my community became even greater! We even came under another covering/church for a short space of time as we knew that we needed to be connected to some sort of โlife-sourceโโbut we also knew that God was not done with our transition.
The journey was tough, but it was CRAZY DOPE and AMAZING as well! And God began to tell me that I had to get rid of my distorted view of things and get back upโand go hard for the other โunder dogsโ, misfits, used, abused, mishandled and traumatized souls. My childhood and other experiences were not for naught. There was purpose in them! If I could help and push ONE person to see their worth and value, I was confident that I was doing my job and adhering to the call on my life.
So much more happened (there will be a part 2) but the objective of this discussion is this:
If you ever feel tired and completely OVER itโฆtake a break, regroup, regather yourself, reevaluate, heal, process, and listen for Godโs directives.
I was also tired! I was over itโbut God was stretching me and showing me who HE was! He was healing my heart and developing my character. He was making me ready for whatever came my way/releasing me from โpeople pleasingโ and more! He was giving me true identity in HIMโฆ not what people did and/or didnโt doโbut what He thought about me! And until this day, I have a really hard time with โcelebrityโ status driven folks, as I know that as flawed humans, no one should be worshipped but God (this is not the same thing as โhonorโ โฆthatโs another topic).
Case in pointโฆthrough this process, I learned this:
I am unique. And the plans that God had for me were greater than anything I could have ever imagined. I know that my voice mattersโand guess what? Your voice is unique! There is none like you! You are neededโand what you have to offer matters too!
How do I know? Oh, itโs personal for me!
And, noโฆ.I donโt have 50K plus social media followers; but I do have purpose. I fought hard to break a lot of generational cycles and I know without any doubt that God is the master of plot twists!
For example:
โฆthis is How itโs Going:
Mother of 5
Wife of 19 + years to an Amazing Man/High School Assistant Principal
College Communication Adjunct Professor
Sexual Risk Avoidance Specialist
ACE (adverse childhood experiences) Cycle Breaker
Bachelorโs in Social Work
Masterโs in Communication
Researcher/PhD Student
Public Speaker (Had the honor of speaking for the U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services; also on Capitol Hill in Washington, DC; and I was a Chosen TEDx Speaker (still waiting to check that off/the pandemic postponed things)
Preacher
Self-Published Author (I know Why I Got Married: Breaking the Cycle of Family Dysfunction and Sheโs UP: How To Get Your ROAR Back)
Writer
Small Business Owner (BeYOU Branding & Consulting Services, LLC)
Nonprofit Founder & Director (Women of Worth, Inc.)
Avid Reader
Critical Thinker
FB LIVE Talks and more...
Why am I sharing all of this?
Because I was just like YOU! Trying to find my voice in the midst of all of the noise! And I was DONE with people! But now...Itโs YOUR turn! Itโs your turn to HEAL and GROW and be ALL that God has called YOU to be!
You are more POWERFUL than you realize! Thus, donโt โKick the Rocks/Donโt Quit! There is MORE! God has MORE! And what you have experienced/went through will help someone else! And check this outโฆeven some of the ones that left you for dead may be the very ones God is calling you to feed! Donโt be bitter. Get better. Be encouraged! The BEST is yet to come!
#WomensEmpowerment #roar #worthit #encourage #riseup #mentor #encouragement #momprenuer #lifecoach #consultant #businessowner #nonprofitfounder #PhDStudent #Grind #BeYou #IAmDifferent #entrepreneur #shesup #ministry #inspiringwomen #inspiring #workingmom#wife #mother #wife #mother
Blessings!

Canena Adams, LLBSW, MA, SRAS
Wife | Mother | Writer | Author | Public Speaker | Social Worker | Business Owner | Nonprofit Founder & Director | Sexual Risk Avoidance Specialist | Healthy Family & Relationship Advocate | Adjunct College Prof. | PhD Student